Don’t You Know You’re Going to Shock the Monkey ?

2016_Year_Monkey
As much as I like to keep a hopeful and optimistic attitude when I begin a new year, this one has me a bit concerned. If I look to follow Chinese New Year traditions and lore, this could be a year which will encourage intelligence and influence coupled with a lot of favor. The Chinese zodiac infers that their twelve year cycle is infallible for determining not only the tone and outcome of a year but also that the year you are born will determine your personality for your entire life. A part of me is just intrigued by this notion since I gave up on the traditional astrological zodiac that people read in the paper everyday long ago. I’ve never been one to follow the occult much beyond what I have read about it, anyway. As a matter of fact, I really don’t feel that anybody remains the same person in their lifetime if they have any success in living. It wouldn’t make sense. Of course we all change because that’s natural and right. Hopefully we all change for the better.
Maybe I like following the Chinese zodiac because it’s so different. Astrological zodiac signs are represented by various animals but also people. The Chinese zodiac is totally represented by animals. There are an equal amount of representatives for both zodiacs- twelve, but for our astrological signs they are represented throughout the year, month-by-month instead of owning any particular year. That’s just the beginning of the differences.
TigerfaceThe basic description of someone born in the year of the monkey is that they are very intelligent and are able to influence people. They are enthusiastic achievers who, unfortunately, are easily discouraged and confused. Further, they should avoid people who are born in the year of the Tiger. People born in the year of the Tiger are described as aggressive, courageous, candid and sensitive. They are encouraged to seek people born in the year of the Dog or Horse for companionship and love. I happened to be born in the year of the Dog so that means we are mutually compatible. It also means that the person born in the year of the Horse is another candidate for myself and they are described as being popular and attractive to the opposite sex and further, that they are often ostentatious and impatient. You get the general idea, right?
The twelve signs of the Chinese zodiac are represented by the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit , dragon, snake, horse, sheep. monkey, rooster, dog and boar. I wonder who got to pick which animals to use? Notice that the monkey is the ninth sign ? To find out which sign you were born into check out http://astrologyclub.org/chinese-horoscope/2016-year-monkey/ . Remember that you will be most compatible with someone not born in the same animal year. If you do seek out people born into the same sign, they will very often be twelve years younger or older than yourself! There’s something to ponder right there! However, usually Chinese zodiacs encourage most people to search out their compatible group animal signs like I mentioned in my third paragraph above. Consult the Astrology Club to find out which ones fit with your sign and if you don’t know which animal you are then you can find that out, too. Most Chinese restaurants have all this info on their place-mats which you can take home.
EA_monkeyNot to read too much into this thing I started thinking about all the quips and expressions there are about monkeys in the English language. There is just the slang word itself. How about someone who monkeys around ? What’s all that monkey business ? Or how about people who are always throwing a monkey wrench into the works? It sounds like a lot of monkey shines to me! In truth, according to the above mentioned Astrological Club, Monkeys love fun and games. In keeping with this monkey business, the number 9 is associated with ambition, activity, smartness, mischief and adventure. Like other primates, monkeys are very similar to humans in their social organization and approach to life. They are the animal that most closely matches our intelligence and thus serves as a constant reminder to continue to build and use our own knowledge through imagination and play. However, unlike other primates, monkey spiritual totems typically symbolize humor, child’s play, and animated and comedic situations. Remember Curious George? While other primates like gorillas and orangutans (which are actually apes and not monkeys) can be considered the serious guardians or wise elders of the community, monkeys are viewed with lighthearted playfulness wrapped in deep devotion and love. Monkeys are dedicated to their tribe and live in extended yet tight family units. These characteristics will rule 2016.
What does all this speculation mean? Well, your guess is as good as mine I suppose but I would find out what year your closest companions were born and find out what is really residing in that head you thought only liked video games and practical jokes. There might be a genius hiding in there but trying to get out. Yeah, right, huh ?

The Castle Lady

Blonde_o_bro195471231

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Tasty Toast Tricks

If you like toast as much as I do you’ll have fun with these recipes because they’re easy, really good and save a lot of cooking time. Plain toast with regular butter usually does it for me. Sometimes, though, even though there isn’t a lot of time you can use really clever tricks to have extraordinary taste experiences in the same or less time than it takes to have dull, ordinary quick fixes that leave you wanting something more. Try the following next morning or for lunch and see if you don’t amp up your day in a refreshing and tasty new way. – The Castle Lady

Zits_1_17_16_JerryScottJimBorgman

OK. That’s just yuck. Now…

Pizza Bagel

Need: 1/2 a bagel slice
leftover pizza or spaghetti sauce
halved or quartered pepperoni slices
and/or mushrooms
Toast your bagel on both sides, well done. Have your sauce and slices ready as soon as it comes out to top and place. Voila ! A quick, tasty and healthy lunch !

Truffles_n_TeaCinnamon Toast

Need: 2 slices of bread
Mix well before toasting: 1 tablespoon of butter (or margarine, preferably spreadable)
with 1 teaspoon cinnamon with 2 tablespoons sugar
Toast your bread on one side, if possible. Spread your cinnamon mixture on the toasted side of the bread and enjoy !

BonneMamanDoughnut Treat

Cut a doughnut half crosswise (or use both halves of a bagel, apart) , and toast them on one side (if your toaster doesn’t have the bagel one-side toasting feature you may have to use a broiler and place the browned outsides on the broiler). When done spread orange marmalade ( I recommend Bonne Maman’s- it’s superb !) on the cut sides and then sprinkle bacon bits on top. It’s best at breakfast or a late-afternoon snack.

http://zitscomics.com/comics/january-17-2016/
C’est ca ! Enjoy !

French_ManicureThe Castle Lady

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The Bombardment of Bristol Castle and City

Bristol_panoReaders will have to forgive me for not having mentioned this previously but it bears taking careful note because I understand that many of you navigate my county-by-county England tours more often by auto rather than by train or bus. To access many castle sites a portion of your navigation will be on foot to reach remote locations. Many Brits love to walk but Americans take walks in small doses, comparatively, with longer resting periods. Let’s face it, no one really wants to get lost in the woods looking for a castle. Therefore, I must let it be known that if you compare the current boundaries of England’s counties to historical maps you will become confused by the differences. Nearly all of England’s county boundaries have drastically changed over the centuries, continually, so make sure that you have an up-to-date map or use a GPS on a castle outing. Save the historical maps for time-travel and historical reference only. In the South of England the differences may be more or less subtle but can still be rather perplexing in any case. Word to the wise! -The Castle Lady

Bristol_coat-of-armsSir John Betjeman, England’s Poet Laureate of the late 20th century, has said of Bristol as being “the most beautiful, interesting and distinguished city in England”. Bristol dazzles with offerings in entertainment, arts, thriving nightlife and cultural scene. An old city, it has become a London of the West Country with a primarily youthful population and the Quayside a rocking weekend mecca. The history is still here although you may have to pay extra attention to find it and when all else fails you can check out M Shed on Princes Wharf to get you up to speed on everything. In the meantime…
Bristol_environsThe town of Brycgstow which is the old English word for Bristol, meaning- the place at the bridge, was likely established c.1000 (and certainly by 1020) in what today is far northwest Somerset. This large trading center, originally a part of Gloucestershire, possessed its own mint, producing silver pennies bearing the town’s name. Iron age hill forts near the city can be found at Leigh Woods and Clifton Down on the side of the Avon Gorge and on Kingweston Hill near Henbury. During the Roman occupation a settlement called Abona resided where the Sea Mills are now and an old Roman road connected from that point ran all the way to Bath, twelve miles away in northeast Somerset. Of course, you will find any number of old Roman forts and villas spread throughout the region.
Bristol_Bridge_tnBy 1067 the town was a wall-fortified burh which had once resisted an invasion from Ireland by King Harold’s sons (ca. early 1000s). Under Norman rule the town acquired one of the strongest castles in southern England. Bristol Bridge, which was built in stone by 1247, adjacent to the conjunction of the Rivers Avon and Frome, stood as it was built until 1763, when it was rebuilt by 1768, outlasting the castle by one hundred years. Presently, it spans the Floating Harbour built between Redcliffe Street and Welsh Back a short distance from Castle Park where a magnificent concentric castle once stood.
BristolCastle_c1200_TimRossiter_1978_model_by_M.W.Ponsford_and_P.WeareBristol emerged as a major port after the Norman Conquest, under direct ownership of William the Conqueror, because of its proximity to the river Avon and the Avonmouth inlet. Geoffrey de Monbray, the Bishop of Countance built the early motte and bailey earth defenses which served their purpose as headquarters when he put down the aggression of William Rufus ca. 1088, being one of William’s closest allies. Those defenses were replaced with stone walls and a keep before 1200, under the direction of Robert (Fitzhamon) of Gloucester (a son of Henry I), erecting the third largest keep ever built in England and that in Caen stone. Interestingly, over the next thirty years or so, the castle’s circuits also included an extension along the west to the now prosperous section of Redcliffe and the River Frome (rhymes with room) which fed the moat. A city wall encircled the old town but in the present, few remains can be seen above ground save for one surviving gatehouse- St. John’s Gate- at the top of Broad Street (northeast of Bristol Cathedral). Rebuilt in the mid-14th century, it is a simple gate passage with a portcullisBristol_C_1400_E.M.Habgood_book groove and an early fan vault and crowned by the tower and spire of St John’s Church which was also rebuilt about the same time and stands in line with the former city wall. Two medieval statues flank St. John’s Gate which are depictions of mythical founders of the city- that of King Bennus and King Benilus. The architecture of St. John’s reflects a medieval Somerset vernacular which shows up again at the Hanging Chapel at Langport, more than thirty miles south. Large windows suggest that the wall no longer had a serious defensive role by that time. Before the crowning of Richard II, Bristol became a county when it began to incorporate neighboring towns. The entire area became a ship building and manufacturing center creating an economic boon for the extended county. As a result, the city’s population was among the largest metropolises in England alongside that of London and York in the far north.
Bristol_C_planNestled between the Rivers Frome and Avon (at a bend), the castle was sited along the east of the city, surrounded by two walled baileys and dominated by a tall square keep only outsized by the White Tower in London and Colchester in Essex. An outer bailey faced the city protecting the keep with the constable’s house which stood alongside it on the south and the Chapel of St. Martin along the north. The larger inner bailey housed a banqueting hall with other administrative and residential portions. The River Frome was diverted to create a moat around the castle walls emptying into the Avon along the south. The location and size gave Bristol Castle a key role during the Anarchy which was set off following the death of Henry I. His only legitimate child, Matilda became his heir through his own declaration and by right. Stephen of Blois, her cousin, usurped the throne at that time and Robert of Gloucester, who was her half-brother became her strongest ally and the commander of her troops. When the rebels came calling in 1138 King Stephen was with them and surrounded the town but he disbanded and left when he realized that Bristol was practically impossible to attack. Bristol-Castle-1400To add insult upon injury, he was brought back to Bristol Castle for imprisonment following his capture at Lincoln in 1141. Even at that time it was not yet a royal castle but was retained by Henry II after he was crowned in 1154 and by then Bristol was considered a vital port. Henry III, who was nine years old when he was crowned, was brought to Bristol Castle to be educated and eventually, when his minority ended, spent quite a bit of money finishing the defenses with a barbican along the west, a gate tower and a great hall considered to be among the finest in England. Bristol incarcerated many royals during most of the medieval period.

Bristol_C_FredLittle_JohnLynch_bookEleanor of Brittany was the star heiress to the English throne and the Duchy of Brittany and even though she was moved to a few other castle locations during her long term imprisonment she was brought to Bristol in 1224, after 22 years of being sequestered in the royal manner and died there on August 10, 1241 as the longest-imprisoned member of an English royal family. What was her crime, you ask? Simply this: She posed a potential threat to her uncle John, who was crowned King of England some years after she was born and was equally a threat to her cousin Henry III later on. From the time she was a teenager and clear into middle age she was never to know a life of freedom or that of being a wife and having children. These luxuries of life were forbidden to her even after her child-bearing years were considered over. There were many attempts by suitors and even relatives to obtain her release over the years but one after another failed and she was never freed even after she wrote to Breton barons and clergymen herself. One letter she wrote is archived in Brittany, France and is the only surviving document written by her in existence.
796949Two young sons of Dafydd ap Gruffydd, the last princes of Gwynedd (in Wales), were imprisoned for life in Bristol Castle after Edward I’s conquest in 1283. During the Wars of the Roses, William le Scrope, Sir John Bussy and Sir Henry Green were executed at the castle, without trial, in June of 1399 by the Duke of Hereford who became King Henry IV of England, after his return from exile.

Bristol_Cathedral_FloatingHarbour
Bristol was the second busiest port in the country in the 1400s and became the send off point for many important voyages. An expedition led by Robert Sturmy mid-15th century was conducted to try to break into trade with the Eastern Mediterranean countries monopolized by Italy.Bristol merchants turned their eyes to the west with expeditions to the Americas by at least 1480. These included John Cabot‘s voyage of exploration in 1497 to North America and the subsequent expeditions continued up to 1508 including one led by William Weston of Bristol in 1499. Bristol became the main British port for the birth of America and transatlantic trade, pioneering the era of ocean-going steamliners with the construction of the S.S. Great Britain which is docked where it was originally built in Bristol’s harbour. Well after this passenger ship was discovered abandoned in the Falkland Islands, a rescue took place in 1970 and it has been undergoing restoration in port ever since.
Unfortunately, the formidable Atlantic trade with the Americas turned sour with theTheNails_CornSt rise of slave trade involving Africans. Liverpool vied for the exchange and by the 17th century slaves were sent to North America on brisk, brutal runs back and forth for plantation goods like sugar, tobacco, rum, rice and cotton, of course. More than 2,000 ships were fitted out at Bristol with an estimated volume of half a million people carried from Africa to slavery in North America. The trades carried out took place in an area of Bristol which is still a lively covered market today. This is the area around Broad Street, King St. and Corn Street and the Corn Exchange built by John Wood the Elder in 1743. Bronze trading tables, referred to as the Nails remain as historical evidence of the deals struck for ‘cash on the nail’ (immediate payment).

BristolC_c1500Bristol slowly lost its defenses through disuse and neglect. By the mid-20th century, German blitzkrieg finished off the entire town, it seems. Out of 100,000 buildings hit only 3,000 were beyond repair and were not rebuilt. A shopping area that centered around Wine and Castle Streets was particularly badly hit and architectural treasures such as the Dutch House and St Peter’s Hospital were lost. The city Hitler destroyed has been more or less restored but in the present, one of England’s largest royal castles and town walls is no longer easily visible to the casual observer. The actual Bristol Castle site has been well excavated leaving the earthworks scarred beyond recognition but evidence of a once great castle is exposed in areas of Castle Park near the formerBristol_Castle_park__StPeters Bristol_C_remains_tn Broadmead Shopping Centre now referred to as Cabot Circus and Mall Galleries on the main shopping road. Interesting fragments of foundations can be spotted on Castle Green, which is freely accessible to the public and, as you walk around, information panels about the castle can be seen and easily read.
Two bombed out churches dot the landscape of Castle Park and a third, St Nicholas, isbristol-william-iii-130327811 the only one restored to be a museum which houses a triptych by Hogarth painted for the high altar of St. Mary Redcliffe in 1756. While there you can also view statues moved from Arno’s Court Triumphal Arch which are depictions of King Edward I and III both of which originally adorned Lawfords’ Gate- a portion of the city walls. When the walls were demolished in the 1760s the King’s statues and also figures from the Newgate portion of the castle, depicting Robert of Gloucester and Geoffrey de Montbray (the aforementioned Bishop of Coutances), were moved to the museum and are included in the collection. Repair work was done, during the 1968 to 2000 excavations, on remaining vaulted chambers of the castle. Two undercrofts of Henry III’s residential building remain and can be found on Castle Street. What remains of the Sally Port, a secret exit from a castle during sieges,bristol4_sally_port can also be seen on Castle Park grounds. Scarce remains of the old city walls- footings, actually- can be explored along King Street, so-named in Charles II’s honor.
There are several depictions of Bristol available from the earliest days but the first written description to be found was written in 1480. Later, the famous antiquarian John Leland visited the castle circa 1540 when it was falling into ruinous neglect. His account states that it had “two courts, and in the northwest part of the outer court there is a large keep with a dungeon, said to have been built of stone brought by the red Earl of Gloucester (Robert) from Caen in Normandy. In the other court is an attractive church and many domestic quarters, with a great gate on the south side, a stone bridge and three ramparts on the left bank leading to the mouth of the Frome. Many towers still stand in both the courts (baileys) but they are all on the point of collapse.” The castle was no longer in use by that time but it remained a Royal stronghold so the city government had no jurisdiction and eventually it was taken over by all types of squatters.Bristol_Castle_Porch_remains

When the Civil War broke out the castle had been purchased by the city (1630) and they took sides with Parliament and refortified the walls. However, Royalist troops came in, took over the castle and also built additional fortified outposts, known as bastions, on the site of an earlier Parliamentarian stronghold. (The Palladian Royal Fort House which exists on the latter site, at present, was built by James Bridges in the 18th century for Thomas Tyndall.) When Oliver Cromwell showed up he ordered destruction of the already ruinous castle and that was the end. Demolished in 1656, save one Octagonal tower, the only observable remnant which survived remained in Bristol_OctagonalTower_21CastleSt_demol_1920s_ReeceWinstoneplace for centuries up until 1927 when it also had to be torn down. This tower was sketched by an artist, one Samuel Loxton in 1907. The photo here was most likely taken before it was torn down. Portions of the banqueting hall from the castle were incorporated in a building that still stands. Along the western section you will find a mangled dry ditch and the sally port is visible on the side of a hill which feeds into the moat a visible distance from St. Peter’s Church. The castle moat was covered over in 1847 but still exists and is mainly navigable by boat, flowing under Castle Park and into the Floating Harbour.

This latter mentioned Bristol invention was designed by William Jessop in the early 1800s to help any water vessel in Bristol’s harbour to navigate better when the levels were being affected by variations in the tides. River Avon is a 10 mile tidal stretch from Avonmouth to Bristol’s port. A lot of work went into the planning and executing but in the end it failed to prosper and the docks were closed indefinitely. As a result, in the present day, the actual commercial port is at Avonmouth on the Severn estuary even though I.K. Brunel was created chief engineer of the docks in 1831 with an eye to improving the city’s locks and dredging system. Besides that he designed the Great Western Railway which runs between London and Bristol. Temple Meads railway was also extended by him to run to Clifton Suspension Bridge which he designed, as well, and still stands as his greatest invention. Later the SS Great Western and SS Great Britain both built in Patterson’s shipyard were also designed by Brunel.

Clifton_Suspens_Bridge_Bristol
www.bristolfloatingharbour.org.uk/about/harbour-desing/building-wonders–video/part-2
A tour of Bristol’s greatest invention- The Floating Harbour

Rendering of Bristol Castle as it may have looked originally:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/richwall100/4189846773/
and a blog entry on Bristol Castle with photos of the surrounding park:
http://charispy.wordpress.com/2010/10/15/castle-parkbristol-castle-bristol/

St_Mary_Redcliffe_SpireEither before or after checking out Castle Park, I highly recommend that you check all the other historical sites of Bristol. A sightseeing bus tour with tickets that allow hop-on hop-off access includes commentary and unlimited travel on these red double-deckers for a full 24 hours. St. Mary Redcliffe‘s spire can be seen from Castle Park and is a delightful stop on your way over to the city center. Queen Elizabeth the I loved it and thought it the ‘fairest (14th century) church in England’. It was heavily funded by two famous mayors of Bristol- William Canynge the Elder and his son of the same name. St. Mary’s nave exhibits the arms and armor of Sir William Penn, the father of the founder(whose name was also William) of Pennsylvania ! Additionally, you’ll see the black Purbeck marble columns, 1200 gold roof bosses, the Chaotic Pendulum and a model of John Cabot’s ship The Matthew. Above the north doorway a whale bone, presented to the church by John Cabot, was in thanksgiving for his safe return from his expedition to discover North America. Bristol Cathedral on College Green, which dates back to 1140, has a magnificentBristol.cathedral.west.front.arp faςade and is quite a delight to tour inside with the medieval carvings in the antechapel, the 13th century Elder Lady Chapel and the misericords in the choir loft. This cathedral was built over centuries and may be the longest period of time for a cathedral construction in history ! From 1298 to 1330 it underwent rapid progress in building, however the transepts and tower weren’t finished until 1515. The nave was not built until the Victorian architect G.E. Street consecrated it upon completion 350 years later!
Bristol_CastleParkThe City Museum and Art Gallery on Queen’s Road is diverse and will surprise you with the international collections plus those of local artists Sir Thomas Lawrence and Francis Danby.The former Industrial Museum on Prince’s Wharf, (now known as M Shed) which is along the south of the Floating Harbour, will give you much to see in products of all kinds which have been manufactured in Bristol for the past 300 years! You’ll be able to view the aforementioned S.S. Great Britain along Gas Ferry Road on the Prince’s Wharf as well, although you must arrange the viewing ahead of time. This large steam-driven iron-hulled ship which was designed by I.K. Brunel traveled around the world 32 times before being left in port at the Falklands as a complete wreck. This was a commercial forerunner of cruise ships and the restoration of it is magnificent.
Llandoger.trowAfter you check out St. John’s Gate, if you go further east, between Lewins Mead and Colston- the Christmas Steps are a steep inclined lane filled with specialty shops and if you go a little further toward the top you’ll find the Chapel of The Three Kings which was founded in 1504. At King Street, while you’re searching for remnants of castle walls, the 17th century LLandoger Trow Inn looms up as the timber-framed star in a set of striking buildings. Daniel Defoe met Alexander Selkirk here, whose real-life story became the inspiration for Dafoe’s Robinson Crusoe published circa 1719. Llandoger’s neighbor Theatre Royal is a rare Georgian Bristol survivor, a playhouse built in 1766. One other survivor for the period, Georgian House is located at 7 Great George St. overBristol_Georgianhouse by Brandon Hill, the easternmost part of the city. The interior depicts the life of a wealthy Bristol merchant of the 1790s with Adamic style furnishings and a lively authentic servants quarters. Don’t miss the drawing room!
In parting, my recommendations further afield, but not too far, is the Bristol Zoo Gardens– England’s version of our National Zoo in Washington, D.C. and the site of a BBC Children’s T.V. show Animal Magic and the Clifton Suspension Bridge at the Avon Gorge, north of the city showing off Brunel’s ingenuity and artistry which was completed in 1864! Stay awhile and enjoy the nightlife and…

Castle_Love_Sand_Brit

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Hits ! Posts ! Readers ! Castles !

Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve updated my reading public on my hits so I thought I’d share the latest relevant data…

                 150,762 are my total hits for this blog as I write this

 and

                    I’ve posted more than 666 posts since I started

                     this blog many years ago.

Not only that, blogging about castles is still as exciting to me now as the day I started back in November of 2005. To all my readers, who amount to more than  150 currently I thank with all my heart for their support and devotion all these years. There is so much more to come so keep those lines humming and whirring. 

2016_Castle_sig

 

 

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A brand new year…

NewYear_2014

A new year is unfolding-

like a blossom with petals curled tightly

concealing the beauty within.

-unknown

New-Year_2016

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Feasts, Family and Fun…

Santa_HOHOThat’s what makes for a great Christmas.

Take, if you must,

this little bag of dreams,

unloose the cord

and they will wrap you around. – W.B. Yeats

Merry Christmas everyone !

ChristmasCake

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Christmas Eve Wishes

Woodstock-Vermont“My best of wishes for your merry

Christmases and your happy New Years,

your long lives

and your true prosperities.”

Charles DickensChristBless_CastleLady_sig

 

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A Miraculous Birth

Chanukkah_1st_night

Christmas was begun with the birth of a baby into a Jewish family. The child was born in a stable. There could’ve been no humbler beginning. The child became a man who changed the world forever.

Two candles start the Hanukkah miracle. From there we continue to light another candle…two, then three, then four…each night a new one until all nine candles are lit. Very few people know that the middle lamp symbolizes the birth of Jesus. It is called the Servant lamp.

One person can change the world.

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Mr. Grinch for Christmas ?

Sing along, anyone ? – The Castle Lady

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwHqhTr2URI

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel.
Mr. Gr-inch.

You’re a bad banana
With a greasy, black peel.

You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch.  grinch03
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You’ve got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Gr-inch.

I wouldn’t touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Gr-inch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I’d take the seasick crocodile.

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of junk.
Mr. Gr-inch.

The three words that best describe you, are as follows, and I quote:
STINK, STANK, STUNK !

Grinch_DogdeerYou’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You’re the king of sinful sots.
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Gr-inch.

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing 
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseous super-naus.
You’re a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked hoss. (horse)
Mr. Grinch.

You’re a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce!

Merry Arf-mus !

Christmas_GrinchThe Castle Lady

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Charlie Brown’s Turning Fifty !

Christmas_Peanuts_Hallmark_50yrPerhaps this should come as no surprise to those who grew up with him but for most of the world it’s impossible to believe that such a young-looking chap like him should be pushing mid-life without the crisis. His childhood was enough of a crisis but he’s weathered it without a line, wrinkle or overextended belly. What a guy ! Every holiday that comes along brings him back to our hearts and I can’t help but believe that this is going to be his best year ever! He’s breaking out and watch out when he does! He’s going to dance with that little red-haired girl, win the little league series, have more fun than his dog Snoopy and finally convince Linus that there is, in fact, no Great Pumpkin and to put on his nose and glasses costume and go trick-or-treating ! Bag of rocks ? No problem. He’ll trade it in for a chance to fly with the Red Baron, end up behind the enemy’s Maginot lines and make it back to the café to quaff a few root beers with Snoopy and all his crony WWI flying aces.
Christmas_sidebarFor us, it’s new Peanuts specials to go along with the traditional winter holiday segments that we’ve loved to watch every year for many decades, if not five of them. Just last Tuesday there was an additional historical Thanksgiving holiday segment giving the history of how our country came to be with all the main Peanuts characters into the story line. If you didn’t watch or tape the special you’ll just have to wait until next year to catch Charlie Brown and his pals plus Snoopy navigating the Mayflower and having dinner with Miles Standish. What an honor, huh?
Tonight you can look forward to a new special with actual stars- Kristen Bell and others- singing all the popular Vince Guaraldi hits that have accompanied the Peanuts gangs all these years along with their own tributes to their favorite Peanuts characters. It is coming on before A Charlie Brown Christmas so be prepared to have your socks knocked off before we go into our personal lip-synching Peanuts watching ecstasy. I know that last sentence was over-the-top but we’re talking about some new stuff here, so just join me in the elation I know you’re feeling right now.
Mickey_LOLWe’ve got less than a half hour to get ready so put on the Orville Redenbacher’s and sit tight. Fifty years ! Whoooo-eeee!

 

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