If you find that you often don’t sufficiently get the right kind of attention from people you meet or even family and friends, you can join a very large club which entails almost all of the human race. It is for this reason that people go about their days feeling unloved or that no one really cares about them. Did you know that it may be partly your own fault? I know this seems harsh but the most likely root of these feelings of despair that you share with the world are not only unfounded, most of the time, but it is the way you conduct yourself in a very specific way that has more to do with this problem. Further, it is something you need to change as soon as possible. The following short essay was written by Mark Van Doren, an author and Pulitzer Prize-winning poet, and expounds on what I am saying here:
Of all sad things we tell ourselves, the saddest is: “I didn’t make the most of the occasion.” We go to say goodbye; an old friend comes to see us; somebody does us a kindness; we have an argument; we meet a new acquaintance; and some how we don’t do justice to the moment.
Afterward we try to imagine that we did; we make believe; we hear ourselves saying all the things we should have said; but then it is too late. The most we can do under the circumstances is to resolve that the next time…
The next time, we say, will be different, but the danger is just as great that the next time, too, we shall fail.
Men cannot see into the future and so we shouldn’t lament too much our failures to realize what moments mean before they are remembered. But there is one thing we can do and the happiest people are those who do it to the limit of their ability.
We can be completely present. We can be all there. We can control the tendency of our minds to wander from the situation we are in toward yesterday, toward tomorrow, toward something we have forgotten, toward some other place we are going next. It is hard to do this but it is harder to understand afterward wherein it was we fell so short. It was where and when we ceased to give our entire attention to the person, the opportunity, before us.
Those who have fewest regrets are those who take each moment as it comes for all that it is worth. It will never come again, for worse or better. It is ours alone, we can make it what we will.
As always, I will go one step further on this subject because it sounds easy on paper until something goes wrong and you can’t seem to remove your thoughts from a problem that seems unsolvable or matters that weigh down our better thoughts. Live for the moment people seem unsettled until we realize that those people are usually the happiest. They keep their minds uncluttered by fears, worries and anxieties that the rest of the world retains. These people look you straight in the eye, pay attention to your words and speak up to the moment. Rarely do they change the subject.
If you really want to make the most of now and attract this to yourself, then be it. Be a good listener if you want people to listen to you. If you want people to be more honest with you try being transparent yourself. If you want people to help you in your efforts, ask them if they need help first and then follow up. We teach people how to treat us through our own actions. If that person you connect with doesn’t reciprocate remember that many people go about like this in life. Be glad you’re otherwise.